Quotes from Dewey's Special Class

Compiled by Petch

Francis: "That's weird. From here the dynamite looks a lot like a picnic cooler."

Hal: "Reese, he isn't dying. If he were dying, we would at least spring for Red Lobster."

Dewey: "So the school thinks I might be a genius, too? But I'm not a whiny loudmouth who complains about everything."

Reese: "Okay, so I'm not Rain Man, big deal. Someday they'll invent a machine that does that stuff for you, anyway."

Malcolm: "You took the same test I did."
Stevie: "Four....years ago."

Hal: "I'm doing it! And it only took all my lunch breaks and $200 worth of quarters!"

Davey: "Can't one of you have a heart attack so the rest of us can play?"

Mr. Sheridan: "You are allowed to cry, if you do it quietly."

Dewey: "Today we learned about our greatest enemies, Mr. Matches and Mr. Talk-Out-Of-Turn. Oh, and I also got to see a crane lower a flight simulator into the Krelboyne class."
Malcolm: "Oh, my God! Does Mom know?"
Dewey: "You're still alive, so no."

Hanson: "They treat us like we're stupid instead of just weird. This place is slowly killing me."

Dewey: "Why don't we have recess with the other kids?"
Chad: "We make them too sad."

Mrs. Welsh: "I'll do what I can do, okay? And I don't think we have to bother your mom with this."
Malcolm: "Thanks."
Mrs. Welsh: "I'll do everything through your dad. Thanks for the heads-up."

Hal: "Wow, ten messages from Dewey's counselor. Maybe I should--"
Craig: (interrupting) "Practice so we can win this thing?"
Hal: "Right. Five-six-seven-eight...."

Lois: "Hal?"
Craig: (under his breath) "Uh-oh, here comes Yoko."

Hal: "I have a gift, Lois. And it would be wrong for me to turn my back on that."
Lois: "Right. I see we've entered Phase Two, which is fine as long as you follow the rules. You have to go to work. You have to eat. You cannot involve the children."
Hal: "And you're freezing the joint account?"
Lois: "Did it last week."

Mr. Sheridan: "This program can't handle another lawsuit, Dewey. I only get paid for four days a week as it is."

Chad: "I swear, if you can get the paste, I'll stab him for you."

Craig: "My ankle's twisted....once again I fly too close to the sun."

Malcolm: "I have a new, much better plan. I broke into the principal's office and created a second, fictional Dewey who lives in another district. I still have to hack into the school mainframe, but all you have to do is pretend you're dead for two days. Then we're back in business."

Reese: "Dewey, guess what? I finally figured out what kind of genius I am. (punches Dewey) There it was, just staring me in the face. Aw, come on, Dewey, please stay awake. I've got so much to show you."

Mr. Sheridan: "You just have to take all your hopes and dreams and let them die. Then maybe you won't end up staring at a clock at four in the morning wishing you had kissed more ass in grad school."

Dewey: "Everyone who hates this, follow me."

Otto: "I am starting to think that zat is a picnic cooler."