Quotes from Polly in the Middle

Compiled by TK

Hal: Y'know, Abe, it's been awhile. Maybe you should think about getting out there again.
Abe: Oh, I've taken care of that. I've decdied to spend the rest of my life in misery and die alone.

Polly: I'm taking Jamie to the park. We're gonna look for butterflies and talk about his birth trauma.

Abe: I didn't even ask Kitty out. My dad asked her dad and we gave her family a ham.

Hal: My setups have a way of not working out.
Abe: You just told me I should get out there and now you're crushing my dreams.
Hal: Abe, you read about the guy who woke up in a tub full of ice with his kidney gone? One of my setups. And I had a really good feeling about that one.
Abe: Please, I need this.
Hal: Oh, all right, but I'm warning you, I have a really good feeling about this one too.

Hal: All the time we've been talking about Polly's date, we've been talking about two different people?
Lois: I haven't been. I clearly remember saying overweight, near-sighted, lonely, lost his kitty.... Oh my God!

Hal: I just wish I could stop picturing the sex.

Polly: I really needed something to take my mind off of my love life.
Hal: Well, that's why God invented baseball... and war.

Polly: My golly, isn't this gut-wrenching?
Lois: Polly, are you okay?
Polly: Fine. I just seem to be having an out-of-body experience which my shaman would be very proud of but I think I'm gonna be falling down now.

Piama: Let's not turn a favor into something you'll regret.

Craig: Abe or me? The dumpy loser or the one who loves you? I'm the one who loves you.

Lois: Pete Bucowski saved my baby!