Everyone, including Francis and Piama, go to a family reunion on Hal's side of the family. Hal's family treats Lois incredibly poorly, even worse than she treats Piama. Hal tries to get his father to really talk to him instead of always turning everything into a joke. Reese trains Dewey to act cute to get in their rich grandfather's good graces, but it's Malcolm that ends up bonding with the old man over war memorabilia. Finally, the boys come to the defense of their mal-treated mother and destroy the celebration to protest the way Lois has been treated. More...

Malcolm starts tutoring, and one of his students becomes his first really girlfriend. Even though both their parents forbid them to see each other, they can't help but spend time together and make out as much as possible. Francis goes to war with the real ranch next door to his dude ranch. Reese makes use of a boy in the neighborhood who looks almost exactly like Dewey. Lois and Hal realize their own productivity when they stop having sex for a week due to Lois's medication. More...

With Lois out of town and Hal left in charge, Hal quickly loses control of his sons. Hal and Malcolm end up having a huge fight, and Malcolm runs away to his girlfriend's house. As Nicki gets sick of her self-centered boyfriend secretly living in her attic, Hal becomes frantic, scouring the neighborhood for his son. While Hal is distracted, Reese plans an incredible stunt involving a bicycle and a fire hose. Francis is musically tortured by Otto's visiting nephew from Germany. More...

While Lois is out of town, Hal takes a night job at an electronics store. Hal tries desperately to get along with his delinquent co-workers who are just slacker teenagers. Hal hires a babysitter for the boys, and they are horrified when she turns out to be in Malcolm's grade at school. She manipulates them masterfully, getting them to eat healthy, do the dishes, and go to bed early. The boys plan a revolt, and Reese gets out of the house, only to find himself at a high school party with his own father. Francis tries to protect Otto and Gretchen when he accidentally allows a porn movie to shoot at the ranch, but the elderly couple surprises him with their open-mindedness. More...

With Lois out of town, Hal invites his "forbidden" friend Larry over, and after a few beers they decide to start building a nursery... which means just ripping down the wall of Hal and Lois's bedroom. Hal quickly learns that Larry is as bad an influence as Lois always warned him. Malcolm and Stevie try to get their friend Dabney to stand up for himself against his overprotective mother and take him paint-balling. Dewey uses fake phone calls from Lois to manipulate Reese. With Piama and Gretchen out of town, Francis deals with his new bedmate, Otto, who has night terrors. More...

Lois tries to encourage Reese by putting him in charge of the family garage sale to raise money to fix the bedroom wall. Malcolm offers to sell Craig a vintage computer worth $1300 and plans a public display to prove how stupid Reese was to want to throw it away. Dewey uses the garage sale as an opportunity to sell off everything in the house. Hal finds his old radio station equipment and revives his illegal radio station from his college days. Francis tries to mend fences between Otto and his son, and in the process realizes an appreciation for his own family. More...

Malcolm is forced to participate in an academic decathlon with his classmates, but when he finds out that his fellow Krelboynes are planning to cheat, he decides to mess with the entire competition. Reese tries to get out of spending money to take Alison to a school dance, and ends up losing both the money and his girlfriend. Francis and Piama fight about chores and money, make peace, and send their fight out to other couples until it circles the globe and comes back to them. Hal battles an ant and his youngest son, Dewey, who claims not to love him anymore now that Hal won't give him a piggy-back ride to bed every night. More...

Hal and a very pregnant Lois decide it's high time they had a will, so they try to prepare one in the middle of the night so that they won't alarm the boys. While they lament their lack of assets and try to decide who should raise they boys if they die, they reminisce about the adventures, catastrophes and arguments of their past. More...

Hal and Lois go out of town for a "last chance" getaway before the baby arrives, but end up spending most of the weekend fighting over the fact that Hal didn't get the vasectomy that he promised he'd get. Reese, who is supposed to be on a bus to Canada to "visit grandma" sneaks back and plans a big party at the house, but instead he is invaded by a bunch of older teens that take over the garage for their "operation" (drug-making?). Malcolm sneaks back from Stevie's house for a rendevous with the class slut, but finds himself taken hostage in his own home with Reese. Dewey, who is staying with Craig, teaches Craig how much fun it is to play like a kid. Malcolm and Reese call Francis for help, but the guys in the garage turn out to be Francis's old friends, so he has no pull with them. Finally, Dewey saves the day by calling the guys' mothers who come over and humiliate them and take them home. More...

Malcolm meets a cynical but brilliant loser who plays chess in the park, and tries to help him get a life by getting him a job interview with Craig. Lois tries to lose weight while Hal secretly tries to fatten her up. Dewey keeps pulling pranks and claiming that the unborn baby is telling him to do it. Francis poses nude for an art class at the ranch. More...

Hal takes the boys to a car show that turns out to be a bridal show. Reese, who is hired as a last-minute tuxedo model, finds he enjoys the prestige that wearing a tuxedo gives him. Malcolm tries to convince his father to let him go to a prep school in London. Dewey orchestrates an elaborate plan to humiliate his father due to the fact that Hal and Lois decided to induce labor on Dewey's birthday. Lois, who is home with Francis and Piama, is horrified when her evil mother, Ida, arrives and says she's come to live with them. Desperate to get rid of Ida, Lois invites Hal's black poker buddies over to scare off the bigotted old woman. Lois's plan has just about worked when Lois goes into labor and Ida decides to stick around. Hal, who finds out on his cell phone that his wife has gone into labor, frantically collects his sons and tries to get out of the bridal show, but he's pursued by the tuxedo rental guy who wants to get his tuxedo back from Reese. More...

Hal, desperate to get home to Lois, crashes the car on the way out of the bridal expo, and finds himself in a neckbrace on a gurney at the hospital. While at the hospital, the boys sit in on a parenting class and realize all the things their own parents didn't do right when they were newborns. Meanwhile, at home, Lois is in labor and waiting for the paramedics to arrive, but Francis is the one who ends up delivering his youngest sibling. Piama comes up with a scheme to get rid of Lois's mother. More...

The family joins a church for the free daycare, but don't realize how much the church will affect them. Reese finds God and goes on a quest that involves a lawn chair and a bunch of enormous helium balloons. Dewey realizes that he is to ants what God is to people. Lois is relieved to have someone to watch the new baby, but finds herself saddled with someone else's terror of a son while she's at work. Hal is relieved when their nursery addition is finished by the congregation, but is terrified by the mural of Jesus on the cross that has been painted on the wall. To get more business for the ranch, Francis pretends that aliens have landed nearby. More...