Synopsis of Casino

Written by Daniel

"I get this terrible feeling we have forgotten something. trash, locks, lights? whatever I'm sure it can wait 'til morning." Poor Dewey, he's accepted that life makes no sense at an extremely early age. When he pinches his nipples and asks why, Malcolm tells him it's just so. This time Hal just can't remember that he left him standing in the corner. At least he can sleep standing up.

The family is on another vacation, this time to a casino on an Indian reservation. The boys are promised swimming but the attendant enjoys torturing kids, and kids without parents can't do anything, including getting their dad from the casino. Not to worry in short order, Hal loses all his money. But he discovers Malcolm can count cards, he's back in the game.

Meanwhile, Francis sneaks home to party with his friends. But they're all either in jail or intervention so Francis is reduced to building pork rind sculptures while watching the Home Shopping Network. However he soon discovers Craig dancing around the house in Hal's bathrobe. It doesn't look good.

Back on the reservation Hal is making money hand over foot, until he's caught. We're treated to the oft repeated scene of Hal getting scolded by the management. Do they reuse the same offices? I think it may be time for a MitM drinking game.

While Hal is getting banned from yet another establishment, Lois is relaxing in their room. By breakfast the next morning she's ready to gamble, but Hal has already made plans to visit a ghost town. Lois and Dewey stay behind, while the rest of the boys and the skipper too head out on a five mile hike, a five mile hike.

"I've discovered a way you can travel free through the internet... I go to a chat room and pretend to be a really hot 18 year old girl." At home, Francis is learning how to get home in style. Craig isn't much of a conversationalist but he does have a keen sense of the common man, and how to screw him.

By now the boys are lost in the desert, but there is hope, a fence. Where there is a fence there is civilization! This is very reminiscent of Blair Witch, don't follow the river downstream, cross it. OK, Malcolm is smart, but he's not exactly a boy scout. They soon run into a puma, but no worries, it blows up before it can hurt them. According to Reese, "As near as I can figure, I did it with my mind." Then they find a house, it blows up, as does the outhouse, and a car. The song, "It's a good life."

Lois is lapping it up in luxury at the Casino Spa with Dewey when the Puma blows up, eating lobster when the car hits the sky. She's the only one not high strung for a change.

After the house blew up Malcolm realized they were on an artillery range, now we are treated to another scene of Hal and Malcolm groveling before the management. Reese won't have any of it, "This is supposed to be the greatest army in the world, and you couldn't kill the three of us. I gotta tell ya, I'm not impressed." Their one call home is answered by Dewey who's just been promised the rest of the day alone with mom, without any interruptions.

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