Quotes from Morp
Compiled by Petch
Lois: "Here is poor, neglected Dewey having a great time at SeaWorld."
Dewey: "It's so blurry you can't even tell it's me."
Hal: "Well, you can't prove it's not."
Carla: "That's inspired. 'A Night To Cherish'? It makes last year's 'A Night To Remember' seem so shallow."
Kelly: "Yeah, I wouldn't expect you to show up anyway, Carla. You'll probably be home alone in your room, listening to Morrissey and gouging out the eyes of models in Vogue magazine."
Malcolm: "You mean like a Morp?"
Carla: "A what?"
Malcolm: "A Morp. A complete opposite of the Prom."
Carla: "A Morp. I like that."
Kid in locker: "It wasn't me who threw that pudding at you!"
Reese: "Well, you should have thought of that before you started looking like the guy who did!"
Dewey: "Wait a minute. Here's a drawing I did of Grandma.
Hal: "And it's beautiful. You did a really nice job with her whiskey bottle.
Dewey: "I also have her missing a leg. Interesting, since she didn't lose it until last year."
Hal: "Dewey, if you're trying to tell me that you can predict the future...."
Dewey: "So you're neglectful, and you think I'm an idiot. That's nice."
Hal: "You're not an easy boy to love, you know!"
Heather: "I have an idea for refreshments. What if we get a big punch, and then we all drink punch. You know, ironically."
Jeanie: "He's an illiterate thug. I don't think it's too much to ask that he look perfect!"
Reese: "You heard the lady. Make me glow."
Hal: "Lois! I don't want to alarm you, but there is a naked man in your house!"
Lois: (calling from bedroom) "What's he doing here?"
Hal: "Don't you have a prom to go to?"
Dewey: "I'm not in high school."
Hal: (yelling to Lois) "He says he's not in high school!"
Reese: "Your parents were delightful. You didn't tell me that they were Asian, too."
Jeanie: "Reese, that wasn't in the script."
Reese: "I'm sorry--are you going to spray me again?"
Lois: "Now remember, we only have to be nice to him until he gets close enough to the van to grab him!"
Homeless Nick: "Do you folks have a young boy you don't care about?"
Hal: (wearing ridiculous hat) "If you think you're going to make a fool out of me, I've got news for you, little man: It's not going to happen!"
Malcolm: (addressing prom crowd) "You think you're on the inside, but you're on the outside. How does that make you feel?"
(DJ responds by promptly playing "I Feel Good" by James Brown, to enthusiastic crowd response.)
Employee Robbie: (drive-thru speaker) "Can I help you?"
Hal: (instinctively reading from Dewey's cue sheet) "Er, I'm Dewey's jackass father.... Huh ?!?"
Employee Robbie: (drive-thru speaker) "Hey, the sex maniacs are here! Cool!"
Malcolm: (yelling as Morp attendees leave to join the Prom upstairs) "This is a trap! These are the same people who made fun of your clothes all through school, and laughed at your haircuts, and called you 'Malcolm-Balcolm'...."
Reese: "Well, if I want to make a career out of this, I've got to satisfy my customers. And I think I did. Tell your friends."
Dewey: "It costs so much to keep this place open after hours. I had to put that on your credit card."
Lois: "Enjoy the cake. That's the last thing you're going to eat in a long time that hasn't been dipped in sardine juice. (snaps picture of Dewey's surprised expression) Hey! Finally! A picture for your memory book."
Reese: "You can go ahead and grab my butt. You're paying for it."