Quotes from Health Insurance

Compiled by TK

Reese: With a dead octopus, there's a very small window before it starts smelling like just another dead fish.
Malcolm: Reese, your hands still stink.
Reese: Yeah... like victory!

Hal: We're living in a death house.

Craig: Let the record show that I advocated a policy of cowardice and appeasement.

Hal: What is the matter with you boys? Don't you realize you could get killed?
Reese: Dad, I'm not going to die.
Hal: What?
Reese: I'm 17.
Hal: And so you can't die?
Reese: I just don't see it happening.
Hal: I've got news for you Reese, 17-year-olds die all the time.
Reese: Oh, come on, Dad. That's just something you tell you so you'll stay off drugs.

Hal: Nobody is dying in this family until start of business Monday morning!

Hal: I can't feel anything below my left knee. Is my foot okay?
Reese: Your foot looks fine... but I think the rest of you's facing the wrong way.

Hal: It's a very special moment when a father watches his boys lie to their mother for him. There's only one thing that could make me prouder: if one of you could saw off my leg.