Quotes from Lois Battles Jamie

Compiled by TK

Reese: This is the answer.
Malcolm: What's the question?
Reese: I don't know yet, but this is definitely the answer.

Reese: We've got to come up with something really great to do with it.
Dewey: Why don't we tie mattresses to ourselves and jump off it?
Reese: No, we could do that off the roof.
Malcolm: We could launch mannequins into the Pressmans' Jacuzzi.
Reese: Uh huh, it's not good enough.
Dewey: We could get a squirrel to dive off it into a cup of water.
Reese: Not good enough. Not for her. Not this old beauty.
Malcolm: Well, how about if we got a vat of Jello...
Reese: No! It's not good enough! I got it! We could take a dog, tie him to a bicycle.... No, it's just not good enough!

Malcolm: It's mocking us. It's a ten-foot-tall springboard that we got for free, and we can't think of a single thing that's good enough to do with it.
Dewey: I bet it belonged to some other family going crazy because they couldn't come up with anything to do with it. They probably just sat around staring at it for months until they finally just snapped and started eating each other.
Reese: Dammit, we're better than this, I know we are! Remember that squashed groundhog we found on the highway? We came with a hundred things to do with that, from the horrible to the beautiful.
Dewey: I miss Flatty.

Dewey: Jamie tries to kill mom and we're the ones who have to clean it up. You wanna tell me how that's fair?
Malcolm: You gotta give that kid some credit. It's the closest any of us actually ever came.
Dewey: Yeah. Jamie wasn't really spawned by Satan, was he?
Malcolm: No. If he was, we'd have a way better house.

Francis: Huh... it's weird. I just have this vague feeling of you actually being a good mother.

Dewey: Do you care if you keep your eyebrows?
Reese: Hell, no!

Malcolm: Hopefully you will land in that kiddy-pool.
Dewey: We think that's got a 50/50 shot at putting you out... if the roof doesn't collapse... or ignite.

Malcolm: You're the featured page on giantjackass.com.

Dewey: Should I get the hose?
Malcolm: Not yet. He would have wanted us to wait.