Quotes from Kitty's Back

Compiled by Petch

Lois: "Reese, stop it. You're going to give yourself leprosy."

Abe: "Are you enjoying your special day here, son?"
Dewey: "I expect nothing, and I'm still let down."
Abe: "It sure is."

Hal: "See, Reese started you out with California and Maine. Whoops, these are both Maine. Well, you won't be needing this one."

Dewey: "Where's Francis? He's supposed to be here for my party."
Malcolm: "Oh, he called. There was a TV show he wanted to finish watching. He'll get here after your bedtime."

Reese: "I'd keep this Courtesy Award to myself. That crippled thing will only protect you so much."

Lois: "How long have you been out there?"
Kitty: "Not long. All night."

Reese: "Did you know that underneath your skin, there's more skin! Why have I always been so careful?"

Abe: "When I searched the internet, I found some interesting pictures of her. From what I can tell she seems to have overcome her fear of meeting new people."

Lois: "I know you and I used to be friends, but what you've done is so creepy and evil, it doesn't get fixed with 'I'm sorry.' It just doesn't."

Francis: "Get out of bed and lie down on the floor of brotherhood. And give me the pillow of fraternity."

Reese: "I'm creating a whole new Reese, shedding my old life. That's how snakes live forever."
Malcolm: "You're an idiot."

Hal: "I would take you back if it happened to us."
Lois: "Oh, you would not. How can you say that?"
Hal: "There's no life without you."

Francis: "Quit stalling and suck ants."

Lois: "I thought you boys might like some chips and lemonade."
Stevie: "No thanks. My creepy mom....gave me juice."

Dewey: "I did all that crap for a stupid cookie?"

Hal: "He doesn't want you there."
Lois: "Well, that's too damn bad. I'm going to support him whether he wants it or not."

Waiter: "That may work as a metaphor, ma'am, but you're really screwing up your entree."

Lois: "I guarantee you it's going to be uncomfortable. And if you do anything to make it any less uncomfortable, I will never forgive you!"

Hal: (drunk, to hostess) "You are one polite old bag, you know that honey?"
Lois: "Excuse me."
Hal: "C'mere, oldie, give us a hug."
Lois: (to bartender) "He's cut off."
Bartender: "Hey, that's Kitty Kenarban at your table, right?"
Lois: "Yeah."
Bartender: "So, are both of you into the same scene? You know, sniff-sniff, rawrrrr !!!"

Francis: "I'm really sorry. I got carried away. I just--I miss you guys. And let's face it, torture and humiliation are the only ways we have ever known to say we love each other."
Dewey: "You know you're only making yourself feel better."

Lois: "Wow, I'm learning a lot tonight. I never dreamt there were so many ways of saying 'thank you.'"
Abe: "I wish there were more ways to say 'you're not welcome.'"
Hal: "Excuse me. You know what I never have? A margarita!"

Frank Walston: "Manners are what allow us to be kind to each other, to live with each other, but most importantly they are how we forgive each other."

Stevie: (lip-synching to sabotaged recording) "Ladies and gentlemen, friends and family, esteemed colleagues of courtesy, you honor me. But I can't let this occasion pass without remarking that you all blow-blow-blow-blow. It means so much and requires so little to take a moment to kiss my butt. In conclusion, I feel the evening would be incomplete without telling that world that I am actually a lady. Thank you. Go to Hell."
Hal: (plastered on margaritas) "He can talk! He's cured!"

Lois: "Reese, your punishment isn't over until that bathroom floor is so clean you can eat off it, which is what you're going to be doing for the next two weeks."

Reese: "I need a few minutes alone with the vacuum."

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