Quotes from Standee

Compiled by Petch

Hal: "It's a cat habitat! You know how you're always saying there's no reason for us to get a cat? Well, now there is one. It's got a teatherball, two main decks, an activities center and a crow's nest to look out for other cats. I call it....Catmandu!!!"

Lois: "His name is Slappy???"
Craig: "A delightful throwback to a simpler time."

Hal: "Where's the beer?"
Dewey: "Oh, he took that. He drank one and poured the rest into his thermos."
Hal: "And he left this here to mock me."

Hal: "I did not pour my heart and soul into this thing so that trash man could refuse to take it away."

Malcolm: "You're not my boss here. Mr. Crechale is."
Lois: "Mr. Crechale didn't tear three inches getting you out of him."

Oscar: "And nine months after your wife leaves three birth control pills in the pack, here comes the disposable diapers again. Talk about screwed up priorities. Now, you guys buy those generic diapers that break apart in the can, yet I notice someone can afford a Toberlone every Friday!"

Shirley: "I'm sorry, God. You're against the rules here."

Hal: "But if we refuse to fight this fight, then we are really living in garbage--garbage of the spirit, and that's got to be the worst kind."

Reese: "How am I supposed to tell if the milk is bad. Everything in this house smells the same."

Malcolm: "I've agreed to throw away all morality and agreed to go to Hell for $6.25 an hour!"

Abe: "Come on, guys. Hal's suffering. We really should be more sensitive. No, wait--I've got one. I see my favorite band out there: A Flock Of Seagulls!"

Malik: "First we pick their cotton, then we have to solve their moral dilemmas for them."
Brian: "It's probably the saddest sight of all when racism impacts on white people."
Steve: "How many white mothers and sons must be torn asunder before we learn our lesson?"
Trey: "It's bad enough we have to watch them dance at weddings."
Hal: "Shaking their flat asses around!"

Hal: "Can you breathe?"
Dewey: "Yes, but I don't want to."

Reese: "You have to want it bad."
Hal: "The fact that I came to you should prove how desperate I am."

Craig: "Let's just get in the car and drive. You don't have to pack, I have clothes for you in the trunk!"

Shirley: "Ever since that thing came up, I swear we've had so many more black people in here."
Lois: "What?"
Shirley: "That is not our clientele. We just don't have the personnel to follow them around. Thank you, Lois."

Hal: "Son, if you could just apply this kind of focus and determination to your school work--oh, that ship has sailed."

Dewey: "What good is running going to do? We live here!"

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