Quotes from Thanksgiving

Compiled by Petch

Malcolm: "I think she likes me, but I can never be sure."
Kirsten: "Yeah, I guess I was distracted by your freakishly large head."
Malcolm: "Mostly because of stuff like that."

Reese: "Dad, remember the chocolate souffle I made for Thanksgiving two years ago?"
Hal: "Oh, yeah, that was--"
Reese: "Rat puke compared to what I have planned. The crepes I made last Thanksgiving?"
Hal: "Oh, they were--"
Reese: "Crap next to what we're having tonight! Don't think of this as a meal. This is like eating the Mona Lisa."

Francis: "What, you think they won't know in, like, five minutes, that we're getting a divorce?"
Piama: "Sorry, we're having some problems."
Francis: "'Having some problems,' is that what you call finding out that all the love that we shared was a lie? Hi, Mom."
Lois: "Malcolm, you better go get your father."

Dylan: "My stepdad drinks so much he never counts it."

Lois: "You really think I have that much power to orchestrate people's lives? Besides yours?"

Reese: "Dad, look at this--the stubborn patina of tuna casserole, or enchilada loaf, or whatever in God's name this greasy spoon churns out night after soul-killing night. But not tonight."

Hal: "You are not dragging me into your little Machiavellian schemes, thank you very much."

Reese: "Dewey, do you trust me?"
Dewey: "No."
Reese: "Do you fear me?"
Dewey: "No. Not in the long run."

Malcolm: "You know, you may think that's flirting, but it's not. It's just hostility."
Kirsten: "No, I'm pretty sure it's flirting."

Hal: "Okay, I'm not smart enough to figure out what you're up to. But when something bad happens, I am blaming you."

Reese: "There are lives at stake!"
Dewey: "No, there aren't."

Hal: "I'm through! With the helping part. I'm still doing the eating part!"

Lois: "Piama, I know that you and I have had our differences."
Piama: "Oh, you mean the cold, uncomfortable silences broken by the occasional veiled insult?"

Kirsten: (drunkenly) "My brother will kick your ass if you tell!"

Reese: "Well, I've done it. The feast is about to start."
Francis: "It's about time."
Piama: "I'm not even hungry."
Dewey: "May I be excused?"

Reese: (saying Grace) "Thank you, Lord, for giving me the talent to express my love for my family in the only way I know how. Amen."

Francis: "Dude, you didn't take advantage of a drunk chick."