Quotes from Grandma Sues/Lois is Pregnant

Compiled by Petch

Malcolm: "Francis and Piama came to visit at the same time Grandma is here. Eight people, seven sleeping places; guess who gets the shaft? This is my reward for being at the library when they asked for a volunteer."

Ida: "Ha! Wolves should rip out your throat!"

Lois: "Reese, I asked you to rake these leaves."
Reese: "I'm waiting for the rest of them to fall first."

Dewey: "We'll miss you."
Ida: "Even the little one lies."

Malcolm: "I was so close to sleeping in the house again. I forgot what a bed feels like."

Reese: "Tell you what. Punch yourself in the face. (Dewey does.) Okay, you're in."

Piama: "My family's still worse. My mom faked stomach cancer so she wouldn't get custody."

Francis: "Useless, miserable money-grubbing old hag!"
Ida: "Keep talking, tough boy. I sue you, too."

Hal: "I've had it! I'm going to toss her out on her cage!"
Lois: "Hal, we can't do that, she's my mother....my twisted, horrible monster of a mother."

Doctor: "Well, I think I've figured out why you're feeling so lousy, Lois. You're pregnant."

Hal: "If this baby's half as bad as our least bad one, we're still ruined!"

Piama: "There's no lock?"
Francis: "For my brothers? They just got the door back a few months ago."

Malcolm: "Sleeping is the only thing that makes my life worthwhile. I can dream I'm somewhere decent."

Hal: "Dewey, go easy on the orange juice. That stuff doesn't grow on--wait, it does! So why is it so damn expensive?"

Reese: "They know about the thing!"
Dewey: "Shut up. It's probably a different thing."

Malcolm: "Nobody should know a beetle tastes better than a june bug."

Ida: "Did you hear that? He called me evil. I want that on record."

Piama: "You're pregnant?"
Dewey: (screeching) "Noooooooooo !!!

Lois: (furious) "I cannot believe you boys! This is the way you react to wonderful news? This is a blessing !!!"

Reese: "I bought us an above-ground swimming pool. And the best part is, you don't have to pay for it for six months."

Dewey: "All I ever had was being the youngest. Now I won't even have that."

Ida: (indicating lawyer's assistant) "How much is she costing me? I'm not paying for your little tart of a girlfriend."

Lawyer: "Now, I don't mind tossing innocent people into the street. I just don't do it for free."

Back to episode info