Quotes from Boys at Ranch

Compiled by Petch

Malcolm: "I'm really going to miss my girlfriend Nicki. But then again, it's two days without Mom. I've been in the car since 6:00."

Piama: (feigning illness) "I'm fighting a terrible cold. I'll probably be in bed all weekend."
Malcolm: "Mom didn't come."
Piama: (suddenly fine) "Well, we'll just have to enjoy ourselves without her. Come on!"

Reese: "Hey, what are you doing? I brought some stuff I wanted to burn!"

Malcolm: "'All Terrain.' I wonder if that actually means all terrain."
Reese: "They couldn't say it if it wasn't true."

Hal: "They don't think, Francis. They never have. The only thing their heads are good for is to plug up their necks!"

Otto: (pointing to Dewey) "I blame ze oldest one! Ze others follow him like sheep!"

Malcolm: "I don't believe it. You've turned into Mom."
Francis: "Yeah? Well, sometimes Mom's right."
Reese: "You take that back!"

Gretchen: (crying) "You promised me you vould leave it alone, but it vas just....(agonized squeak) a lie."

Malcolm: "'Sometimes Mom's right?' Why didn't he just throw acid in our faces? You know, I'd actually prefer that."
Reese: "I can't believe he yelled at us right in front of that French guy."

Gretchen: (happily) "You know vhat your Tante Gretchen does vhen she feels bad? She vorks. She vorks herself to ze point where her body screams in pain and her soul begs for mercy!"
Dewey: "Why?"
Gretchen: "It's ze best form of penance. Vhen my fingers are raw and my back is racked vith crippling pain, I feel all better!"

Otto: "Scout doesn't pick up on anything. Unless you're secretly gay."

Eddie: "Boys, I'd like to introduce you to the Komodo 3000."

Gretchen: "I just remembered vhen I vas nine. My uncle gave me a Pfennig to put in ze vishing vell. But I threw a pebble in ze vell and I kept ze Pfennig. I am pure evil!"
Dewey: "I once put a garden slug in Reese's sandwhich. And he ate it."

Hal: (drunk, firing a pistol) "Oh, great. Something scared off the horses!"

Francis: "Okay, and now you're smiling, which means in about two seconds I'm going to look like a jackass."

Piama: (indicating note from boys) "I'm afraid it starts off a little antagonistic."
Francis: (reading) "Is that last word 'lick' or 'wipe?'"
Piama: "I think you're safe either way."

Otto: "How far do you think we've gone?"
Hal: "Well, judging by that rock formation over there, about twelve feet."

Otto: "If I am such a genious, how come zat I am drunk and lost in ze desert vith a bullet in my ass ?!?"

Dewey: "I kind of feel like I'm floating."
Gretchen: "Vell, zat's probably ze ammonia."

Hal: "I'll tell you what that is. That is Francis showing us that way home! I told you he'd get us out of this!"

Francis: "Did it say when our vision would come back?"
Reese: "Box said two days."
Francis: "Totally worth it."

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