Quotes from Forbidden Girlfriend

Compiled by Petch

Malcolm: "It's amazing all the different kinds of kids you meet when you're tutoring after school. In the last six weeks alone, I've met morons, idiots, lunkheads, jackasses and one imbecile."

Lois: "The boys will be home in ten minutes."
Hal: (nude) "I'm willing to accept that challenge."

Dewey: "There's also cookie days and pat-on-the-head days. I don't like those so much. But before you know it, it's money day again."

Merl: "Our ranch has used this trail for over fifty years. We're not about to stop for a bunch of city boys playing 'horsey.'"
Francis: "Look, just because it's a dude ranch doesn't mean I don't bust my ass the same as you." (cell phone suddenly rings in musical fashion)
Earl: "Hey, cowboy, your fanny-pack's ringing."

Boyd: "Just remember something, hotshot. Me and a lot of my dead comrades put our asses on the line so that you and your little friends could have the freedom to study trigonometry."

Malcolm: "I think we should get back to math."
Nicki: "Or you could stop stalling and kiss me."

Stevie: "Ditch?"
Nicki: "Yeah, it's just P.E."
Stevie: "But that's....a class."
Nicki: "And it'll be there tomorrow. C'mon!"

Gretchen: "Otto, I love your fury!"

Francis: "We might consider trying to reach a compromise."
Otto: "Do I look French to you ?!?"

Reese: "It can't be money day. There is no money day. I would know about it if there was a money day. Unless....maybe Mom and Dad don't want me knowing about money day."
Billy Prescott: (raking leaves around a perplexed Reese) "Excuse me."
Reese: "Beat kid, I'm trying to figure something out."

Dewey: "He's my evil twin?"
Reese: "Fat chance. The guy's a saint. You're his evil twin."
Dewey: "But I don't want to be an evil twin!"
Reese: "I don't make the rules, Dewey."

Boyd: "Get your filthy mouth off of my daughter's face!"

Nicki: "I get home at 3:00 today. Dad gets home at 6:00. Now, my little brother's a total narc, but we can send him to the arcade 'til like 4:00."

Dewey: "I don't want to do this."
Reese: "If you don't do it, I'm going to tell Mom about you taking all that money. And you're going to get a 'Me' punishment."

Hal: (about the merits of celibacy) "Do you think that's how really successful people just...."
Lois: "Can't think of any other explanation."
Hal: "So, Bill Gates...."
Lois: "Probably never."

Otto: "Gretchen, my gun!"
Gretchen: "Vhich one? Oooh, vhat am I saying? Ze Luger!"

Francis: "Did it ever occur to anyone to put in a gate?"
Merl: "....a gate?"
Otto: (thoughtfully) "Hrmmm....a gate vould vork."

Hal: "I'll go sleep in the car."
Lois: "Park it a couple of blocks away."

Reese: "With Billy Prescott as our fall guy, we can do anything. Now, I've updated my enemy list."

Nicki: "Maybe you don't know anything about me, but I actually bothered to learn things about you. I don't like you because I'm some creepy danger junkie. I like you because you're funny and you're kind and you don't let me get away with stuff. And even when you complain you're funny. And I never have to think about what I'm going to say because it just comes out. And it feels right, and I feel safe."
Malcolm: "Well, wait. I like you because you're really fun and honest and I don't feel like I'm being tricked when you're nice to me. You're amazing with my friends. You're amazing....okay, so this is real. It's not just the danger or whatever. This is real."
Nicki: (happily) "Duh!"

Hal: (as he undresses for bed) "I've got news for you, girlie-girl. I am made of sterner stuff! I happen to like my new life and I am not about to descend to your animal level."
Lois: (sultry) "Tool belt on."
Hal: (whimpers and dives into bed, tool belt still on over his briefs)

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