Quotes from Stupid Girl

Compiled by Petch

Lois: "It's so nice to have a boy in the house who's not a rude little monster."
Reese: "Hey, was that a shot at me?"
Lois: "Yes, honey. It was."

Dewey: "You could just give me money for a hot lunch."
Lois: "Don't be silly. Those things aren't nutritious."

Hal: "There's melba toast. If you can't make a sandwich out of that, you're just not trying hard enough."

Dewey: "What are we going to buy?"
Hal: "We're not going to buy anything with this, son. We're going to put this money right into your college fund--a secret college fund that your mother can never know about."

Malcolm: "What is wrong with me?"
Stevie: "How long....you got?"

Francis: "Heading down to the place where you sell overpriced, pretentious stuff to tourists with more money than taste?"
Piama: "You do listen!"

Otto: "Before today, I did not know zat cows need ultraviolet protection."
Francis: "What? What is this stuff?"
Otto: "Sunscreen. For cows."
Francis: "Otto, how much did you pay for this?"
Otto: "$200 a bucket, plus ze zinc for zeir noses."

Hal: (over the phone) "How much time do I get for $1,000 bucks? Oh, mama! I have been dreaming about this for years. What, are you crazy? We can't do it at my house, my family's there. Uh, but there's a parking lot near my office where we can meet."

Lois: (noticing a new brand of toilet paper in the grocery bag) "Hey! I didn't buy this...."
Stevie: "49....cents less....with lotion."
Lois: (impressed) "Ooooh!"

Malcolm: "I could actually feel my brain click off."

Hal: "If you don't tell your mother, I'll let you squash something."
Dewey: "Can I squash Reese's bike?"
Hal: "Sure. It's in the trunk."

Stevie: "What did you get for problem 17?"
Malcolm: "I drew a tank."

Stevie: "You're turning....into Reese."

Francis: "Is there some scientific way to find out if something is pudding without actually tasting it?"

Customer: "Could I get this picture, but with my husband's face where the dolphin is?"
Piama: "Well, like all great artists, he'll do absolutely anything for money."

Reese: "Want some punch?"
Kid: "If I say yes, you're just going to hit me."
Reese: "I'm going to hit you anyway, but it's funnier if you say yes first."

Malcolm: "Alison dumped me as soon as I used the word 'paradox' in a sentence."

Piama: "I kind of told my boss I'm not trailer trash, and you're blowing my cover."

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