Quotes from Family Reunion

Compiled by Petch

Malcolm: "Mom's so busy being mean to Piama, she doesn't even notice us. We've been getting away with murder."

Reese: "Look, it's too late for you and me, but Dewey's still young adorable. Although we do have a narrow window to work with. (aside to Dewey) In a year, you're gonna look like a freak."

Lois: "Sorry it's so cramped, Piama. This van really isn't designed to carry seven people."
Piama: "Oh, I guess I was thrown off by the seven seats and the seven seatbelts."

Francis: "Last week I got to castrate a bull calf."
Dewey: "What does 'castrate' mean?"
Piama: "Ask your mother."

Hal: "What's this?
Pete: "Your dad's birthday present. We all chipped in."
Hal: "We?"
Lois: "We're going to chip in, too."
Pete: "Oh, don't worry. We'll put your name on the card."

Malcolm: "It figures this is the side of the family we never see. Meanwhile, the grandma who goes shopping in her bra visits five times a year."

Hal: "You know, I've been telling meself that everything's okay, but my bladder knew different!"

Malcolm: "Why are we staring at a mall, Grandpa?"
Walter: "This is a battlefield, Private, and I'm not your Grandpa. I'm Captain Atticus P. Featherton, commander of the Company A cavalry. It's 1864, cannonballs are flying overhead. The nostrils curl with the smell of burning flesh...."
Malcolm: "Can I get a yogurt?"

Hal: "Did you notice last night when you gave Helen your chair, and she flipped the cushion over before she sat down?"
Lois: (trying to suppress surprise) "....no."

Reese: "You've got a real gift for this butt-kissing stuff. We are so in."
Dewey: "What do you mean, we?"

Hal: "Dad, we need to talk. This is serious."
Walter: "Then I better put on my serious face."
Hal: "No, Dad, no faces!"

Claire: (to Lois) "That's not where we keep the liquor."

Malcolm: "My socks are itchy."
Hal: "Malcolm, I hear your sock itchiness, and I am glad you're telling me about it."

Piama: "What are you going to do?"
Francis: "We don't know. We never know."

Hal: "You boys are on notice! If you ever drive a golf cart over a catered dinner and into a swimming pool again, there will be consequences. Dire consequences!"

Back to episode info