Quotes from Baby, Part 2

Compiled by Petch

Craig: "What's going on here?"
Piama: "Lois is in labor, and Hal's not here."
Craig: "....I have dreamed of this moment!"

Francis: "If you're not going to have the decency to choke on the fumes of your own bile, can you at least take your poison over to Aunt Susan's?"

Dewey: "I think he made you pee in that jar just because he could."

Craig: "Don't worry, Lois. I just Googled the word 'baby.' Here we go, 28 million matches. There ought to be something useful in there."

Ida: "You don't say hello to your grandmother?"
Lloyd: "I'm not Malcolm. We've been through this before."

Reese: "I've been kind of zoning in and out here, but did she just say milk comes out of those things?"
Malcolm: "Reese, that's what they're for."
Reese: "My God. Women are the cows of people."

Reese: "I'd say half of all our Legos have been through this kid."
Dewey: "Probably more."

Ida: "With a little light pancake, you could pass. You don't have to hang out with the other ones, you know."
Steve: "Okay, you know what? See, here's the thing, lady. We're better than you. Every one of us in every way. I'm smarter than you, more educated. And I contribute more to society. I have a family that loves me. I live in a big house, drive a nice car, and make more money in a year than you've probably made your whole lifetime."
Ida: "Big deal. So you're a drug dealer!"
Steve: (infuriated, playing to her bigotry) "Booga-booga !!!"
Ida: (shrieks and runs)

Dewey: "Like I needed another reason to hate cottage cheese."

Lloyd: "I'm going to need that computer."
Craig: "Not today, squirt. Lois is about to have a baby, and I'm in charge of research."
Lloyd: (looking at what Craig has onscreen) "She's hot."

Francis: "You don't even like me!"
Lois: "But I love you, which is why you're going to do this!"

Reese: "This baby's not gonna get dropped on its head all the time."
Dewey: "Yeah....what?"

Ida: "Do you know, those animals are in your backyard right now, pacing back and forth like it's Africa. When this is my room, they don't come within twenty feet of the door!"

Lloyd: "Excuse me, can someone help me find Malcolm's bio-chem notes? I need them to do my assignment."
Lois: "Get out of here, Lloyd! I'm in labor! I'm about to give birth!"
Lloyd: "....It's a really important assignment."

Francis: (delivering Lois' baby) "I can't believe I'm looking at....this! I'm gonna die!"

Lois: (after baby is born) "Oh, thank you, Francis. This is the nicest thing you've ever done for me. I am so proud of you. You can go vomit now."

Malcolm: "Have you at least come up with a name yet?
Lois: "Yes. Jamie."
Dewey: "It fits."

Reese: "We'll come back when your udders are ready."

Hal: "I'm coming, Lois!"

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