Quotes from Baby, Part 1

Compiled by Petch

Francis: "Dad, I can't reach it. You have to come up another rung."
Hal: "My ears are popping!"

Lloyd: "Wait, what am I thinking? You can't go. You're too poor. You're like the poorest guy I know. Argh, I'm such a jerk. Here I am describing this Nirvana you'll never be able to experience? Holding out this hope of power and success to a guy in a three-dollar shirt....I mean, look at this hovel!"
Malcolm: "Lloyd, you have to stop talking."
Lloyd: "It's okay to cry, Malcolm. Tears are free."

Hal: "What difference does it make? It's just six days sooner that our lives are over...."
Lois: "Hal!"
Hal: "....and our new, more fulfilling lives begin."

Lois: "Oh, come on, Malcolm. If we only looked at stuff we could afford, all we would ever see is crap."

Ida: "Are you going to open the door, or should I lie down in the grass and feed the worms?"
Francis: "Oh, great. Who opened the gates of Hell?"

Lois: "Mother, we can't afford to put you up here."
Ida: "You can afford a maid."
Piama: "I'm not the maid, Ida. My name is Piama. I'm married to Francis."
Ida: "Tell the help not to talk to me."

Reese: "I know I haven't been everywhere, but I'm pretty sure this is the most boring place on Earth."

Dewey: "I think the accordion is really underrated."
Accordion Player: "Yes! Yes, it is!"

Ida: "Guess why your soup tasted different when you came back from bathroom."

Francis: "There has to be some way to get rid of her."
Piama: "All we know is she doesn't burn."

Malcolm: "If I'm not home....you just might make it. I'm totally willing to do it."
Hal: "Absolutely not. You don't get to leave! Malcolm, you're our only hope!"

Dewey: (over microphone) "Well, ladies and gentlemen, that's the story of a little boy who lost his birthday."

Brian: (to Ida) "Nice to meet you, ma'am. If you'll excuse me, I need to use your toilet."

Abe: (attempting gangsta talk) "Welcome....to da hood, yo yo. Gettin' all jiggly with it. Representin'....can't touch dis."

Steve: "I used my spare key to get in. I hope you don't mind."
Lois: "That's why you have it. So you can come over any time you want."

Malik: "Why, Lois, you make it sound like you're surrounded."

Trey: (to Ida, horrifying her) "So whatcha doin' later on? 'Cause I like that wagon you're draggin'."

Hal: "Dewey, I hope you're happy."
Dewey: "I thought I would be, but not this much."

Reese: "I'm inside the giant violin case!"

Hal: (over the phone) "So, we're just pulling out of the garage right now. Got it on the oldies station. They're doing a Beatles A-to-Z. Can you think of a Beatles song that starts with Z, 'cause frankly I can't."
Lois: (over the phone) "Hal, you sound funny. Is everything okay?"
Hal: (over the phone, lying) "Yeah, just turning onto Maple. Hey, the gas station by the church stopped selling diesel."

Piama: "I'd do it, but I'm not dark enough. I'd just annoy her."

Back to episode info