Quotes from Reese's Party

Compiled by Petch

Hal: "For God's sake, my last good tie!"
Lois: "Hal, I just bought you a twelve-pack."
Hal: "Well, I went through it!"

Dewey: "Why are you splitting us up?"
Hal: "Because this is the only way the judge would let us leave town."

Malcolm: "Reese, figure it out. It takes twenty-six hours to get there and twenty-six hours back. Your backpack is full of food, and no one ever called Grandma."

Dewey: "Didn't you ever play 'Fort' when you were a kid?"
Craig: "Of course I played. I had friends, plenty of friends. And you're short."

Reese: (imitating Lois over the phone) "What? How could you do this to my favorite son? The only one I ever loved is now lying in a ditch somewhere! Well, I better call the coffin store."

Malcolm: "I'm here to....guard the house from your bad things you're doing!"
Reese: "What's in the bag? Candles, chocolate-covered strawberries, Sleepless In Seattle....My God, you're gay!"

Lois: "Oh, perfect. They promised us a heart-shaped tub. We got a tub-shaped tub."

Hal: "Lois, you just don't understand how extraordinarily precious those parts are to me!"
Lois: "Precious? Oh, give me a break. You're not that guy. You've never been that guy."
Hal: "When it comes to this, every guy is that guy!"

Donnie: (manhandling Reese and Malcolm) "See, that's you guys talking, and that doesn't work for me. Now, can I trust that you guys won't talk, or am I gonna have to remove something to make it physically impossible?"

Kathy: "Just because you read something on a bathroom wall doesn't mean it's true."

Malcolm: "Haven't you ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome? You're starting to identify with your captors."

Francis: "When you're dealing with a complex psychological situation, you have to remember there's a lot of subtle machinations that come into play."

Hal: "Should we still do the afterglow breakfast?"
Lois: "Well, we gotta eat."

Craig: "You boys aren't even supposed to be here, and you're throwing a co-ed slumber party?"
Donnie: "Who's the fat chick?"

Francis: "Dewey, there's a principle I learned in military school. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the guy who can't run fast."
Dewey: "No, we face-painted each other. I'm not leaving him here!"

Lois: "Will you rub my feet?"
Hal: "I would love to rub your feet."
Lois: "And what can I do for you?"
Hal: "Please leave my balls alone."
Lois: "Okay."

Reese: "Canada was wonderful! I brought bananas back for everybody."

Dewey: "I forgot how good it feels to tell."