Quotes from Clip Show II
Hal: "The baby's not due for a month! I told you it wasn't conceived in the elevator. It was Dewey's parent/teacher conference!"
Lois: "Why would a bank let us keep an account this messed up? There are checks out of sequence....look, a check from next year, and this is two checks taped together."
Hal: "What difference does it make, Lois? You know better than anybody: we are in the crapper!"
Hal and Lois: (in unison) "We both agreed that you would be in charge of the finances!"
Lois: "Well, there's one bright spot in all of this. We finally agree on something: there's no one to take care of our kids."
Hal: "Look, I am not a performing seal, Lois. I can't just bark out a list of good deeds while you take a bow and throw me a mackerel out of your fanny-pack."
Hal: "You honestly don't see your part in all of this? Parents' Weekend at the military school, you two got into swordfight! You dragged him off the field in the middle of a Tee-Ball game because you thought he gave you a look. His first words were, 'You shut up!' Lois, you two have been at each other's throats since the day he was born."
Lois: "He started it."
Hal: "We are a walking advertisement for forced sterilization! Who were the idiots in Washington that allowed us to pro-create ?!?"
Dewey: "Dad, you're embarrassing me in front of my men!"
Malcolm: "You want a strike? I'll give you a strike! Here's your damn strike!"
Reese: "Listen, when the kids at school ask you about this, tell them I got under your bra."
Lois: "Are you Aborigines ?!?"
Spangler: "No, no, no! Now, we are going to do this until you get it right! Now, once more....with feeling."