Quotes from Academic Octathlon

Compiled by Petch

Alison: "I got the nicest dress for the school formal. It's satiny and long, and what's that color between pink and purple?"
Malcolm: "Mauve."
Alison: (moving over) "Oh, sorry."

Dabney: "I've been tanking my grades for the past three months so I could be our team's mandatory C-student."

Herkabe: "That food is not there for you to eat. It's there so I don't get in trouble for making you work through lunch!"

Hal: "Big boys don't get to do 'bedtime express,' because it hurts Daddy. So, even though it's fun, we're not going to do 'bedtime express' anymore."
Dewey: "Okay."
Hal: "Oh, good."
Dewey: "Then I won't love you anymore."

Reese: (hoping to pick a fight) "Are you sure this is going to fit? Because you're so fat!"
Alison: "Oh, you're such a goofball!"

Gretchen: "You just spend money on vhatever you vant!"
Otto: "I spend? You spend money like ve have a key to ze mint or something!"

Krelboynes: (singing on bus) "The square-root of 8,649 bottles of non-alcoholic beer on the wall...."

Herkabe: "If any of you are not fully committed to this team, you are more than welcome to get off the bus right now! Driver, open the door. (bus slows) I did not say stop, I said open the door." (door opens at full speed)

Alison: "You're just throwing egg salad on me!"
Reese: "Yeah, 'cause that's the kind of thing I think is fun!"

Kevin: "I'm getting a panic rash over my homesick rash."

Herkabe: "Mr. Baffert, you've done it again. What a stellar job at organizing--"
Baffert: "Don't suck up, Lionel. It's pathetic."
Malcolm: "Don't worry, sir. We were ready to grab your ankles if you got too far up there."

Lois: "Look, Reese. Some people are born book-smart. Others are born crafty and street-smart. You, I'm afraid, are neither."

Dabney: "Why do I have to be the one who does this?"
Kevin: "Because you look most pathetic in a bathing suit."

Stevie: "Everybody....look casual."

Herkabe: "I have never been prouder of you than at this moment. We never spoke."

Hal: "How did you pull me all the way over here?"
Dewey: "I guess....'cause I'm bigger."

Baffert: "As you can see, it's a happy ending for all....so long as everybody keeps their mouths shut. See you next year."

Francis: (to customer on phone) "Well, it's a shame to let one argument with your wife spoil....sure, you can ask me whatever you want...."
Piama: (entering) "Hi, honey!" (dark look from Francis)

Herkabe: "IBM's been studying him. Rumor has it he was a Siamese twin that got both brains."

Lois: "I am going to cling to life for years just to make you suffer."

Back to episode info