Quotes from If Boys Were Girls
Compiled by Petch
Lois: "I told you we only needed a medium."
Malcolm: "He stole my pen, my favorite pen! Look at him holding it!"
Renee: "I hate being dumb! If I didn't grow such great hair, my head would be useless!"
Daisy: "Wow, that was the worst fight we've had in months."
Hal: (incredulous) "Malcolm! You can take Reese?"
Lois: "He better not need stitches! (Reese groans) Yeah, like you weren't begging for it."
Francis: "I've got a $20 bet on whether the cover is Stagnum P.I. or Magnum P.U.."
Imaginary Fat Hal: "I bought everyone some cookies. (pours crumbs onto table) Oh, they're gone."
Reese: "Why can't you go shopping without us? I'm a medium, I like blue. Go crazy."
Hal: (irritated) "Fine, be that way! Don't come crying to me when you end up with a pair of puppy oven mitts! (hopefully) Do you like puppy oven mitts?"
Lois: "Fear is good. It's an 80% off sale. Fear will keep you alive."
Dewey: "I can see through that old lady's bra."
Hal: "The bottom line is that I made a mistake and....grabbed the wrong bag!" (snatches other bag and takes off running)
Old Lady: "Back off, brat! This may be your first sale, but it isn't mine!"
Malcolm: "All right, Reese is back!"
Reese: (antagonizing old lady) "Do you want to take your teeth out before we start this, grandma?"
Malcolm: "Oh, no....Reese is back!"
Dewey: "Deal's off!"
Mrs. Tracy: "What's the last known address of the boy's father?"
Renee: "I am not pregnant, because I know that sex is wrong and immoral and fun....no, wait--"
Jason: "It's all right, Renee. It's good that they know. I'm ready for teenaged marriage. It'll be awesome."
Lois: "Girls don't do this. You're supposed to be easy!"
Mallory: "No, Mom. You're easy."
Daisy: "We can fool you about anything. We're girls. We know how you think. And we're not above using it."
Frances: "You never like any of my husbands!"
Mallory: "Oh, come off it. Who do you think made us this way?"
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