Quotes from Clip Show

Compiled by Petch

Reese: "Why do we all have to be here? He's the one that's afraid of being attacked by a shark in the shower."
Malcolm: "At least he doesn't walk in his sleep and pee on the TV--"
Hal: (stammering to shut Malcolm up) "Dat-dat-dat-dat-dat-dat !!!"

Hal: "I am authorizing you to do whatever it takes. Drugs, brainwashing, electro-shock...."

Reese: "We were being good. I mean, I had some stuff scheduled for later, but...."

Malcolm: "Our only problem is our parents think we're lying and we're not. Hey, a breakthrough."
Dr. Kennedy: "You're obviously a very bright young man. Would you like to spend the rest of the hour telling me how bright you are?"

Malcolm: "Yeah, the guy who leaves thumbtacks on the toilet seat is so misunderstood."

Reese: "You're the one who taught me my name in French is 'Latrine.'"

Dr. Kennedy: "Here is what you boys need to know. You cannot break me. I've worked in prisons. I had a seventeen-year-old serial killer hugging my knees and crying like a little girl. Those aren't Fisher-Price diplomas on the wall. I went to Harvard! I had a starring role in The Mikado!"

Malcolm: "They biggest problem is that they don't trust us."
Reese: "They just assume that if they leave us alone for two seconds, we'll get in trouble."

Dr. Kennedy: "And how do see your place in this family?"
Dewey: "Well, I'm the favorite. You know, the one everybody loves the most. The cute one, the one everybody looks out for and gives presents to. And sometimes they even make the birds sing to me or the clouds spell out my name."

Dr. Kennedy: "What about you, Malcolm? What's your place in the family?"
Malcolm: "I don't know. I'm the middle one."

Dr. Kennedy: "You know, there's a lot of options for a boy like you. I mean, there's placement programs, camps, special schools...."
Malcolm: "Wait, you want to send me away?"
Reese: "You can't do that!"
Dewey: "He's our brother!"

Malcolm: "Don't do this!"
Dewey: "You can't leave me alone with Reese!"
Dr. Kennedy: "I'm sorry, but we're out of time."

Hal: "Then you boys were actually telling us....the truth ??? (to Dr. Kennedy) You're a genius! Boys, let's go get you some ice cream."

....and then these quotes from classic Malcolm past episodes:

Francis: "Dad, I know what you're going to say, and believe me, I totally agree with you. There is no excuse for what I did. It was idiotic, immature, totally reckless, and I'm really sorry. I'm just hoping against hope that you will give me another chance, which I admit I don't deserve. But if you could just find it in your heart to forgive me, I know I could earn your trust back."

Reese: "You're home plate. You don't get a vote."

Malcolm: "Interesting mood shift. It would take hours to explain the psychology behind this. So let me just put it this way: (points to Lois) Dynamite, (points to Reese) Kid With Matches."

Dewey: (singing) "I hate my brothers / I only like me / I hate my brothers / I only like me."

Hal: "This time he used the exact same brand of pen as the teacher to change his grade."

Lois: "That is it! Get up! Get back! Come here! Go there! We are going to take this picture, and it is going to be good. And that means no faces, no tongues, no cross-eyes, no bunny-ears. We are going to smile. We are going to look good. It is going to cost us $9.99, and all of this is going to happen by the time I count to three."

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