Quotes from Cynthia's Back

Compiled by Petch

Lloyd: "This is brilliant! I wonder if my third nipple can get me out of wrestling?"

Stevie: "Here comes....her royal....bitchiness."

Hal: "I don't like kites, and they don't like me. We just don't get along."
Lois: "You look different."
Karen: "I'm sober."

Karen: "Now I have to go over to Stephanie's and tell her she can take down those 'Lost Dog' posters."

Francis: "We work like dogs all day, we drink, and then we work like hungover dogs. Is this really how you pictured your life?"
Eric: "Ever since I was little. Why, what'd you picture?"

Francis: "You stole a totem pole?"
Artie: (drunk) "No-no-no, he asked to come with us!"
Pete: (drunk) "He hasn't shut up for an hour."

Cynthia: "I'm sorry, but I'm not going to stroke your fragile ego by confiding in you."
Malcolm: "Oh, yeah? Well, you're on fire."

Malcolm: "I was surprised, that's all. It's just really different. I mean, I would react the same way if you had a new haircut. A giant haircut."

Lois: "Do I have anything that I need to apologize for?"
Hal: "Okay, by 'you,' you mean 'me,' and since you're phrasing it as a question, it means you already know the answer."

Hal: "Lois, for the past twenty years, yours has been the only tongue that has been in my mouth. Now, you're just going to have to believe that. I don't lie."
Dewey: "So, are we going to fly kites tomorrow?"
Hal: "Sorry, son, I have to testify at a murder trial."

Malcolm: "Look, moron, she's not hiding her butt. She's hiding her big boobs, okay? So if you tease her, you're just gonna look like a...." (trails off, horrified by his slip-up)
Reese: "You are a good, good brother."

Eric: "Have you even eaten anything?"
Francis: "No, I'm fasting. It helps my meditation. I can't explain it, but there's some kind of an energy running through this thing. It gave me that dream. It's trying to help me get to something."
Artie: "That's it. We're getting rid of this thing, and we're putting you back on corndogs and porn for your own safety."

Malcolm: "You're pure evil!"
Reese: "Who's more evil, me or the person who told me?"

Dewey: "Okay, so we had a little setback. But don't give up."

Hal: "I mean, think about it. If you loved me as much as I love you, we'd never leave the bedroom. Nothing would get done. We'd die of starvation."
Lois: "I love you."
Hal: "Not as much as I love you."

Native American Man: "I've got news for you. I work for a living. I'm a Baptist, and I'm proud of it."

Cynthia: (kicking Reese's butt) "I have feelings! I will be treated with respect! I will not be objectified! I will not be humiliated or demeaned! Now kiss my shoe, kiss my shoe!"

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