Synopsis of Surgery

Written by Daniel

The episode begins with Hal's shaving broadcast, but is rudely interrupted as Lois calls out the commencement of breakfast. Hal runs, but his shirt gets caught on the door, then his pants. When he finally makes it downstairs for bacon day, the bacon is gone from the platter and pile on his son's plates. He tries to scare Dewey into giving up some of his bacon, but he's tried this trick on Dewey one too many times before and the boy isn't falling for it anymore. Even though Malcolm has a stomach ache, he won't give up any of his bacon either. His mother ignores his pleas and sends him to school, used to her boys' fake ailments when they haven't studied for a test.

Down south, Francis is losing yet another important privilege: television. But this time they will fight back and WIN! Considering my experiences with institutional food the idea of a hunger strike isn't all that inspired. But it is the path they take, and it seems to be a difficult one.

When Malcolm is still complaining about his stomach on Saturday and is running a fever, Lois decides it's time to take him to the hospital. Hal sweat out his fear of hospitals. Malcolm is admitted for appendicitis and is forced to stay in the children's ward. The doctors will operate the next day.

The family leaves Malcolm at the hospital with hugs and threats of re-hospitalization. Once home they break out a game of March and Conquer, a game which bears a great resemblance to the real life game of Risk. They finally have a chance to play without being creamed by Malcolm. Lois wins the first round, but they just keep on playing. The family sleeps in so late that they have to buy breakfast before coming in to see Malcolm.

Malcolm tells how in the middle of the night he saw a giant orderly dragging what looked like a body through the hallway and how a doctor came to him in the middle of the night almost performed a lobotomy on him. Lois assures Malcolm that everyone gets scared before surgery. Malcolm also finds out that his family has been doing all sorts of fun things without him, and Dewey has already started wearing his older brother's clothes. He tries to tell the doctor that he's feeling better, but the doctor just thinks Malcolm is hysterical.

The family is addicted to March & Conquer. Hal has formed a secret alliance with the boys to defeat Lois, but he taps the codes on her foot. This is war, ugly, ugly war.

The peaceful route seems to be working a little better at Marlin Academy. After calling Gandhi a sissy and trying to tempt the cadets with an omelette bar, Spangler finally decides to negotiate with Francis. Unfortunately Francis is delirious from hunger, and it's only after he comes out of the negotiations with Spangler's "magic hat" that his fellow cadets point out that he's been had.

When Helmut, the giant orderly, forces pills down Malcolm's throat for an early surgery Malcolm realizes he has to take things into his own hands. He runs away and trades his clean urine to a drug addict orderly for a new blood test. He is still put under for surgery, but when the doctor goes to operate he finds that Malcolm has written his new blood test on his belly over his appendix and a threat to sue of the operation is completed. Malcolm is returned home, appendix intact, but his family is upset when their summer vacation money has to go to his hospital bill.

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