Quotes from Convention
Malcolm: See what happened? We told her we didn't want a babysitter and she didn't listen. Now someone innocent has to suffer.
Francis: I always felt so sorry for Patty, 'cause she had this wild crush on me. She used to follow me around waddling, big arms jiggling. She was nice, I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but what are you supposed to do when someone really gross thinks you're cute?
Barbara: Men are animals. Or so I am told.
Lois: Are you drunk already?
Barbara: I'm not wasting any time, I've got to get back to the kids in 24 hours.
Barbara: Did you know you can audition male strippers and you don't even have to hire them? They're not that bright.
Malcolm: I don't know what I am.
Reese: All right, drop the cute stuff.
Dewey: What cute stuff?
Reese: You, standing there with your big eyes and your dopey voice. I have to resist hugging you myself.
Lois: Hey, why don't you pay for dinner since we got parking?
Barbara: Are you taking advantage of me because I'm drunk.
Barbara to Tom: I wish you would.
Reese: Hey, where are you going?
Malcolm: To find out what's wrong and make her feel better.
Reese: No, I'll go find out what's wrong and make her feel better.
Malcolm: You'll just make her more upset!
Reese: I happen to be sensitive.
Malcolm: You're stupid and a creep.
Reese: I'll kick your ass!
Reese: Say I can make her feel better!
Malcolm: I don't believe it! I'm supposed to be the genius and I'm being outsmarted by a kid who can't even tie his own shoes.
Patty: Dewey, come to bed.
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