Quotes from Malcolm vs. Reese


Craig in Dewey's mind: Jellybean also likes you better than your brothers. Everyone likes you better than your brothers. Someday you're gonna be president of Idaho. Anyone taller than you will be fed to wolves.

Dewey: What if Jellybean's hurt? It's dark outside.
Hal: Let me tell you a little something about cats, all right. They're nocturnal creatures, which means they prefer the night. Then again, so do coyotes and feral dogs and devil worshippers....

Cop: No sign of forced entry. I just don't see how these guys got in.
Hal: It's a mystery.
Dewey: You left the window open.
Hal: Mystery solved.
Cop: I'm sorry, what is it you said you're doing here again?
Hal: We're watching the cat while the owner's away.
Cop: I don't see a cat.
Hal: We're not doing a very good job.

Hal: What happened to your face?
Dewey: What happened to your pants?

Francis: Whoah, guys, this is supposed to be a contest about love and you've twisted it into something ugly. Carry on.

Hal: We'll make three piles: probably not Jellybean, definitely not Jellybean and not even a cat. Let's start with that 'possum.
Dewey: I think it's time to call mom.
Hal: I was hoping you'd say that.


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