Quotes from Surgery

Hal: Dewey, don't be scared, but there is a big spider next to you.
Dewey: Yeah dad, there's always a spider on bacon day.

Cadet: Isn't that a bit drastic, can't we wait until after lunch?
Francis: What are we having?
Cadet: Shepard's pie.
Francis: The strike starts now!

Lois: Malcolm, why are you walking like that?
Malcolm: My side still hurts.
Lois: But it's the weekend.

Hal: Oh, they can dress it up with plants and pictures, but let's face it, this place is a slaughter house!

Dewey: Can I be the little girl?
Hal: Not on my watch.

Dr. Harrison: If you feel pain, you can bite down on his hand just as hard as you want. Helmut won't mind.
Helmut: [shakes head 'nope']

Spangler: Passive resistance, the last resort of slackers and sissies.
Francis: What about Gandhi?
Spangler: Sissy!

Malcolm: Dewey, you're wearing my shirt.
Dewey: Am I?

Hal: What are you saying Lois, that me and the boys have formed a secret alliance?
Lois: Hal, that's my foot you're tapping Morse code onto.

Dewey: So we have to pay even though he was faking?!
Malcolm: I wasn't faking! I'm the one who figured out they were wrong, remember?
Reese: If you're such a genius why didn't you figure it out sooner?
Hal: Well, son, you want to answer that for us all?
Malcolm: Nothing like ten seconds at home to make you appreciate the hospital.

Back to episode info