Quotes from Hal Quits

Dewey: Mom, dad, guess what? The tooth fairy came.
Lois: He did?
Hal: Oh, so what'd he give you? A couple dollars?
Dewey: I got a rock and a half a stick of gum.
Lois: Malcolm! Reese!

Lois: Reese, anything coming out of your nose is going right back in your mouth.

Lois: You were gonna save the painting until retirement when it's okay to be insane.

Francis: Do you people have any idea what this kind of mindless labor does to a person? It kills your soul, it turns your mind into jelly and it crushes your spirit to dust!

Lois: Sorry Francis, but it was the perfect fit. We needed people, and you have no choice.

Little girl: So the only reason you like your job is because you won't get killed in a fire?
Hal: Yes!

Malcolm: It's weird, all my life dad has been getting up every morning, and dragging himself to a job he hates with every fiber of his being, I can't believe I never noticed. I guess I've been pretty self-centered.... Oh my god! What if that happens to me?

Counselor: Look kid there are a lot of people that would kill to have both professional golfer and neurosurgeon on their results.
Malcolm: Yeah, but that doesn't help me.

Stevie: With my intelligence and tokenism, the sky's the limit.

Reese: Hey, Dad? I have a little situation that maybe you can help me out with. There's this girl who...
Hal: I suggest that you leave her alone before she calls the police on you.
Reese: Okay, thanks.

Francis: I'm working for a moron.
Lois: Of course you are, honey. Your boss is an idiot, your co-workers are incompetent and you are underappreciated. Welcome to the working world.

Reese: What's the girl's name again?
Dewey: Regina Tucker.
Reese: Don't worry. We'll think of something.

Lois: There has got to be like five hundred gallons of paint up there.
Hal: There isn't f.... Yeah, that's about right.

Francis: I just spent my entire spring break counting flip-flops and Vagisil. You're saying that was all for nothing?
Man: Yes.
Francis: Do you know how many parties I missed this week? How many spring break debaucheries I could have been at? How many drunken sorority girls ripped their tops off without me there to yell encouragement?

Malcolm: Why plan for my future when it's just going to end up like a giant wall of paint crashing down on me? I'm just going to enjoy being a kid for awhile. There's a lot of good things about being a kid.

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